It's another chilly Monday morning and I left the house twenty minutes early, allowing myself time to meditate before teaching.
Despite years of practice, I still find waking up any time prior to 6am painful, so setting my alarm twenty minutes early doesn't change a thing. Knowing how much I get from even a few minutes of presence and breath awareness strengthens my commitment to stick to this habit.
I am proud to say, I've been sitting for twenty minutes every Monday morning for close to a year and in hindsight, I wouldn't trade even one of those minutes for sleep.
As I sat in the warmth of the small white yoga room, I recalled the teachings of one of my wise spiritual mentors, Dr. NC. He shared an important concept that resonated with me - Until I am properly able to contemplate death, I cannot fully appreciate my life, nor will I have access to bliss (the ultimate goal of the yoga practice).
Life free from fluctuations of fear, lust, anger, desire, anxiety and any limitations coming from the ignorance of my mind cannot be silenced until I experience what it is like to die.
My interpretation of his view on death is that it is neither good, nor bad, but simply a neutral part of the process of consciousness. Freedom from physical life may very well contain much more light than we assume, and when I sit and consider what it would be like to have the physical energy gone from my body, I am left with a non-negotiable stillness.
What I interpret from Dr. NC's message is that I should not fear death, it could be the greatest experience of them all. If I'm going to waste energy on fear, it should be the concern for not experiencing my life fully.
Propped up on my bolster, I completed my six rounds of alternate nostril breath. This practice always relieves me from the chaotic and familiar headspace I live in most of the day.
For some reason today, I heard Dr. NC’s words, 'Practice contemplating death by practicing being dead’. As an effective tool to train our minds into stillness, my teacher recommended sitting absolutely still for twenty minutes minimum. When I say still, I mean not even a flutter or a twitch. 'Be a statue', he advised.
I had ten minutes left in my twenty minute sitting commitment so I thought, 'Why not, let’s see how I go?'
I find it easy to sit still on certain days and very challenging on others. Today felt accessible. My breath was present so I began to watch it and made the decision not to move, (sometimes a decision is all it takes).
As movement ceased, the first sensation I noticed was my pulse. The rhythm of my heart is mostly not within my control and I have always found that fact fascinating. In that quiet moment, driven by curiosity of my bodies' own natural engine, I became overwhelmed with a sense of deep love and gratitude for the life that is always pumping through me.
That’s all I felt - how happy I am with the mysterious body I get to live in. I recognize how often I disrespect my body, mostly by ignoring its requests (Otherwise known as….not making the time to listen).
This morning I listened and within the stillness there was an unlimited source of energy beneath the surface of my skin. A forward pumping. A vibration moving outwards...
I sat perfectly still for the ten minute commitment and I considered how amazing it is to be alive. That’s all, I'm just so lucky to be alive.
Lise x